The Little Mexican Girl

I'm a Little Mexican Girl

I'm a little Mexican girl
Crawling through the scrub in the desert
Escaping from government agency injustice
The very injustice she looks for every day
When she opens her door as a Mexican child
she saw it coming that bad day, una dia mal!
each day can be a bad day in Texas
con los gringos con corazones frios
with the white men with frigid hearts
for little girls who have no money, no pretty dresses,
no shoes at all, no milk no breakfast
it leaves a hole
in the heart in the morning

in front of her Texas house the sun doesn't shine
and her father has no hope
he doesn't have a newspaper every day like the white man
he cannot read it anyway as he doesn't speak English
how can he find a job?
His smart little girl cannot read for him
in English and Spanish en ingles y espanol
as she hasn't started school yet

en in el the morning manana en frente de su casa house
en Texas en Tejas
la sol no brilla
the sun doesn't shine
y su padre no tiene esperanza
her father doesn't have hope
no tienen el periodico cada dia como los blancos
he doesn't have a newspaper each day like the white man
no puede leer en ingles tambien como los otros hombres
he can't read in English either like the other men
?como trabajo el?
How can he go to work?
la nina no puede leerlo por el, porque
his daughter can't read it for him because
no esta en la escuela por/para las lecciones
en la lengua de los estados de America

A screaming male voice emerges
from an Army helicopter over my head
it is a father yelling "I AM YOUR FATHER!!"
she recognizes the voice but does not
know the man screaming at her
and hides further behind a dry Texas
tumbleweed with sharp stickers
Pulling her too-small dress down to cover up
her own privacy privacia
she knows her privacy is her own
she thinks what she is too terrified to say--

LA TENGO!! Quiero mi cuerpo que es celeste. Yo soy confidente que TENGO mas que el gringo hombre, porque mi cuerpo y alma es mia el todo es mio!) LA TENGO!!
Es Mia mio
it's mine, estupido stupid!!

As she crawls through the dirt she looks in terror
through the infrared search light pulsing
and spreading around her child's body
like red liquid liquida
like a wide mantle of fuschia fear
in the dark desert night
overtaking the small girl in the fast redness
encompassing her visual reality overtaking her
she lifts up her hands in a fervent child's prayer
to the Virgin Mother Mary Guadalupe
her patron saint and friend
on many desert dog day nights
in past sufferings suferados suferidos sufridos
sufridandosos como el pasado
pasados posasa posadas

The powerful man in the sky continues
To search the desert floor once her womb
exposing the small shivering child
now a small reptile a spotted lizard blending in
and crawling away
to destiny she worries this must be destiny
but it wasn't destiny it was just solamente the confrontation
the terrible argument with the white man el confrontacion con el gringo
with the white man
in the helicopter
that's all it was
era todo fue todo

el gringo menaced
amenazio fue amenazando era amenazando
the gringo menaced
in the dark satanic night
It was a groping ignorance a widespread perception
that forced her
to be a maid in her worst memories
of tortilla degradation as a young (un joven una jovena)
American girl with no stereotypes allowed
because it's against the law she knows it was
against the law to call her a maid
due to her race and reason not a brown raisin
she is never NUNCA a raisin at all
THE MAN EL HOMBRE continues torturing
CONTINUA TORTURANDO A ELLA her with his authority....

He ruins her life from the sky
and she knows it on the dirt

SU AUTORIDAD no es bueno isn't good
even though it is es verdad ahora es
que ella no es solamente una domestica SOLAMENTE!

no es SOLAMENTE!
Solamente!!! una domestica
no es una domestica todo.

Running every day to Juarez Mexico
to get away from that big lie that cold fear that big lie
la mentira no es la razon no es la verdadero!!no es verdad!!
es un mentira it's a lie
about her the little Mexican girl
la nina la estrellita bonita
succumbs, fainting, but people pick her up
Many hands lift her up from the ground where she had fainted in a quaking terror causing her young heart
to stop with a loss of blood sugar from fear
depleting the little girl
spiked it spike spike spiked

her heart siezes from terror
feeling like a raw crucifixion even though
she was so young and had not
breathed her last breath yet
feeling the prematurely stolen breath suck out of her mouth, the little Mexican Queztochoatl child is also a serpent king.

The little girl dies
she was a king inside herself (no less than a king ) but more than a queen. She is
a lizard not a maid and she sometimes
cleans hotel rooms for food - not a burrito
but a prayer with daily hope and vision now as a small Hispanic child in the U.S.

The crowd carries her across the border
where the Rio Grande is small
and contrite in the saguaro desert night
she is reborn as a little Mexican girl no one loves
but the big man in the sky wants
the native Indian girl she is he wants her pura
Pura pura pura graca graca grace
her brown-skinned beauty and sweet little legs
he wants to restrain her foot
tie it up just like all the rest
she thinks quietly to herself and the people
in the dark satanic night join in her prayers

That is what he wants! that is what he wants!
That is what the powerful man wants
Her booty
The rich man wants her booty
The little Mexican girl's beauty

Is he the devil they ask her?
I said no he is not the devil
but he is no friend of mine
he is a man (un hombre) who does not want me
to be free except every now and then
I breathe now but I will not breathe later
with every breath I take I look ahead in fear!con miedo!

He wants to jail me between his legs again
so I can never leave never leave leave leave
the powerful white man who is black inside
not like a black man but a different kind of black
but I am finally a beautiful woman now
although the child
is still a child la nina es una nina todavia
constantly todo el tiempo una cara nina
I always knew he would come to hurt me
one day soon and I waited until this day

Part of his arm is just I had been told
but the rest is dark and ugly they said it again to me
his teeth are black and angry
he is the occult the deep night he is Satan
they will help me, they said in the constituent assembly
if he approaches you in the dark lonely night
remember he is the Dark Night Satanic
not the Star of David or our Christmas Star
the small crowd warned the little Mexican girl
about the looming helicopter in the sky
that had just menaced her

He will find you little pinanita! No lo quiero!
I'm not a pinata, and he is not the occult!!
the little Mexican girl said! A visitor spoke -remember
the algorithm for the matrix
the red bandwidth
the buxom shortwave the Grundig-
the minimization realization of metaphors
Will recognize the oppressed child
it will be awhile before we can risk
the dark curtain again but we will help you-

Lining her water cups up like a gambler
on the southwestern bus depot counter
she felt anger just thinking about the theft
the little Mexican girl yells up to the bitter sky man
she yells to the doomsday pilot over her head
"GET A BETTER LIFE!!
!TENGA UN VIDA MAS BUENA!"
the violent flyer flew away with disappearing infrared
her product stolen
his waning light trailing behind him
the desert looked normal once more - like God
intended it to look - because he is gone
the crowd of people danced a jubilant
dance un jubilante baile celebrando la victori
a de la nina mexicana mixteca

her heart suddenly stopped pounding
stopped racing dangerously fast and became calm again
she realized she was safe again
Lifting her and breathing on her mouth, the people
regained her composure lifting her up to the
blue blue black night comforting sky
so she could become the leader she really is
she almost lost her place in the hierarchy
through a premature prematura death la muerte
but the people embraced the little Mexican girl
who is not ever a maid not a slave
but a king no less
y more than a queen
and held her up to the night sky cherished

While the powerful man didn't see the beauty
of her heritage, the little Mexican girl
doesn't care anymore about him
and laughs - ella sonrie, saying
FORGET THE MAN, THE GRINGO!!
!FORGET HIM!
!HASTA LUEGO YOU LOSER!!
!HASTA PRONTO!
!!GET A LIFE!!
!!VAYA CON DIOS!!
as the helicopter recedes into the distant stars

The little Mexican girl walks away in her favorite shoes
(en sus zapatos favoritos)
relieved she is still alive
walking toward her destined destina destiny
to eat four delicious tacos
para comer quatro tacos deliciosas
because she was not ever once a maid
in her life
in the rich man's room or his bed or bathroom
of the disgraced harem
no one is a domestic there are not words
for her fear in the night
!no more!! no more!! no more!
nunca mas! Nunca mas! Nunca mas!

No more! porque la hija mexicana no es
!!!UNA DOMESTICA!!!
She is a little star a yellow sun with strength and power

ES UN ESTRELLITA UN SOL AMARILLA CON FUERZA
UNA PRAYER UNA BEAUTY

ES UNA BELLEZA DEL REZO,
CADA DIA TODOS LAS DIAS

Almost the End - (Casi El Fin):

when it rains it pours,
las desgracias nunca vienen solas.

The little Mexican girl has hope and courage for the difficult decade she will have. She plans to grow up and fight racial heritage discrimination, as well as the men who fly helicopters in the desert sky over her head. Her conscience will continue to lead her to victory.

LA LUCHA CONTINUA!! THE STRUGGLE CONTINUES!!
!!LA LUCHA CONTINUA!!...

© 2009 Patricia McGurk Martin

Thanks To : C Sharp Language